October 14 2009 at 5:10 pm (Cinema reviews)

pandorumCrew members Lieutenant Payton (a beardy Dennis Quaid) and Corporal Bower (Ben Foster) wake up from suspended animation in an enormous spaceship and realise that neither of them can remember what their mission is. While Bower goes off in search of the reactor (ie, runs around in the dark), the other stays behind to guide him remotely (ie, hangs around looking grizzled and bored). Bower’s quest sees him meet Exotic Sweaty Woman, Warrior Who Speaks A Strange Language, Scummy Older Plot-Exposition Man and the monsters from The Descent. The camera moves around so fast that you generally don’t know what the hell is going on, which doesn’t matter anyway because whatever the hell is going on is going on in the dark. (2/5)


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